Friday, July 6, 2012

Working mother's guilt

Helping hands

I'd really like for my blog to be a space where I can share honest thoughts more. So today I wanted to write about how I feel being a working mom. I have been enjoying the "My Balance" series Joanna publishes on her blog and how these working moms juggle it all. I work from home full time since Sofia was six months old. Before she was born I thought I will be able to work while she plays by herself but I was so naive, the girl demands your full attention. So my mother retired and flew over from Ukraine to stay with us. Now my mother-in-law is here and then my mom will come back again. So while I work Sofia is with her grandma. I am not going to complain because being able to work from home gives me an opportunity to see Sofia pretty much whenever I want during the day, even if I can't stay with her I can still hear her play downstairs. We are getting to save on child care and I am not worried because I know she's with the best person she could be. Although as you can imagine the trade off about living with your mom and MIL is a piece of unwanted advice you get. I must say I am probably lucky to have this kind of setup but I still do feel guilty and even jealous when I wave them good bye as they are off to the playground, and I am back to my computer feeling like a terrible mother. Some moms who work form home don't need a nanny, right?

So yesterday I came across these words by Erica Rivinoja:

"I want to make sure that I haven't spent 18 years solely as a mom, and suddenly I'm struggling to find out who I am and define myself as a woman. Don't lose yourself in your identity as a mother. You were a woman before you met your husband/partner. You were a woman before you had your children. Don't lose sight of who that person is. Spend as much time with your children as you can, but don't feel bad if you're spending time at work."

I think this is one of the most inspiring piece of advice I read lately and I encourage you to read the full interview if you are feeling the same way I do.

I didn't mean to bring any non working moms down with this post. I know we tend to do that to our selfs in either scenario, working or not. I just need to learn not to feel bad about things I got to do.

6 comments:

  1. I whole-heartedly agree with this. Wonderful advice.

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  2. Лена, привет :) нашла твой блог, такие нежные картинки! :)

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    1. Privet Sonechka, a ya rada chto nashla tebya i zdes i v zhzh, tvoi raboty tak vdohnovlyaut!!!

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    2. это взаимно! :* <3

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  3. So true, we are all wired to feel guilty about doing anything other than taking care of our children. I find that when I get to have some personal time of my own, I'm much calmer and patient with my daughter.

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  4. Спасибо за этот пост! Я сейчас именно в той ситуации, когда нужно найти баланс между "быть мамой" и "иметь свои интересы и время для себя" и это кроме работы.

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